Preparing for divorce without extra stress
Written by Craig Cherney

Preparing for divorce without extra stress

Preparing for divorce is never easy. Once you accept that you are going to divorce, you start to realize how many decisions you need to make. Your finances, your children and the divorce itself need your attention. It can be overwhelming even to begin.

There’s no magic bullet to make it simple. Still, collaborative divorce can make preparing for divorce a little easier. It gives you structure and the tools you need to work through the decision-making process. If you are preparing for divorce, a collaborative process can help you manage what you must do.


When preparing for divorce, some of the hardest decisions involve your children. You and your spouse must decide where they will live and how you will make medical and educational choices for them. Battling this out in a traditional divorce can hurt you, your ex and the children.

The collaborative divorce process adds critical communications to the mix. Instead of fighting, you work together for the best solution for everyone. You can work out a co-parenting schedule together and talk it through from the beginning. This takes away some of the guesswork and gets you and your spouse working together from the start.


You must also decide how to allocate your assets. Does one of you keep the house, or will you sell it and split the proceeds? How do you divide cars, cash and the rest of what you own? Too often divorces become bitter over items both large and small.

A collaborative divorce does not make preparing for divorce easy. Perhaps nothing can. But with the assistance of collaboratively trained attorneys and neutral financial and communication specialists to work toward a deal, it does make the process smoother. Reviewing the numbers together gives you a shared perspective for decision-making.

Child Support and Spousal Support

Parenting time and division of assets are important. Still, they do not represent the end of the process. Preparing for divorce requires you to consider how you will address each other’s day-to-day financial needs after the divorce. One of you may need to pay spousal support, child support or both.

Here again, a traditional divorce often becomes a fierce battleground. One spouse fights for as much financial support as possible, the other fights to limit payments to the lowest amount. This can encourage deceitfulness and resentment. Nobody “wins.”

Preparing for collaborative divorce encourages you to look at financial data together. Your team of divorce professionals can include neutral financial guidance. You want the end result that works best for both of you and your separate futures. Instead of trying to “win,” you will work to find what’s acceptablefor both of you.

Reaching a Fair Agreement

The collaborative divorce process is designed to encourage transparency and respect. It will not be easy. Still, it can make the entire process easier when you are preparing for divorce. Contact the professionals at Best Legal Choices to guide you.