How to tell if your marriage is in trouble
Written by Craig Cherney

How to tell if your marriage is in trouble

Marriage can be challenging even during happy times. From disagreements about chores to differing philosophies on raising children, there’s no shortage of conversations that require careful communication and compromise. No one likes to think about having problems in their marriage. Unfortunately, it won’t do any good to bury your head in the sand and pretend nothing is wrong. If you’re wondering how to tell if your marriage is in trouble, read on to learn about some of the common warning signs and coping strategies.

No Desire to Mend the Relationship

Even the most compatible couples run into hard times occasionally. It takes effort and dedication to get your marriage back on track. Although mending a relationship takes a lot of time and energy, it may make your marriage stronger in the long run.

When your marriage is in trouble, just the thought of trying to work through your issues might make you want to run away. Or, perhaps you’re willing to keep working at it, but your partner has pulled away. If you or your spouse has lost the desire or motivation to work on the relationship, it’s a sure sign your marriage is in trouble.

Refining your communication skills can improve your marriage. If you aren’t sure where to start, you may want to schedule an appointment with a counselor or therapist. You can take on this task by yourself or invite your spouse to join you at couple’s counseling. During your sessions, you’ll discover some of the reasons behind your marital problems.

Constant Fighting

Okay, maybe the fighting isn’t constant, but it’s happening more often than you like. When you and your spouse are in the middle of a fight, it can be incredibly stressful. Often, this spills over into other areas of your life.

Unfortunately, when your marriage is in trouble, the strategies you use to cope with fights may no longer work. You might find yourself withdrawing from family, losing focus at work or forgetting about important appointments. When the fighting is so bad that it’s causing problems in other areas of your life, it’s likely that your marriage is in trouble and needs some outside help.

Whether you’re working through your marriage or you’ve decided it’s time for a divorce, a support system is critical to your mental health. A counselor or therapist can offer insight that you may have otherwise ignored while keeping the focus on your future. Spending time with your friends and family can help you gain perspective. Sometimes, this may help you return to your relationship with a fresh attitude, ready to bury the hatchet and get things back normal.

Threats to File for Divorce

Nearly everyone is guilty of making empty threats in the heat of an argument. Usually, nothing comes of these idle threats, as you didn’t really mean them in the first place. Comments like these are often intended to hurt feelings, rather than as a solution.

When your marriage is in trouble, these threats take on new meaning. If you find yourself threatening to leave on a regular basis, you may realize divorce is what you truly want. The same can be true if your spouse starts threatening to file for divorce regularly.

Tips for Coping When Your Marriage is in Trouble

Just because you and your spouse are having some issues at the moment doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage is beyond repair. Often, you can take steps to get things back on track. For example, seeing a couple’s counselor or therapist can help you look at your issues from each other’s perspectives, making it easier to work through them.

Journaling can also be a helpful coping technique. This practice is a common New Year’s resolution and dates all the way back to the ancient Romans. One idea is to keep a record of your daily interactions with your spouse, including positive and negative. This can help you determine if your marriage is in trouble or if you’ve just hit a rough patch.

If your marriage is in trouble and you’re looking for individual counseling or couple’s counseling, or if you’ve determined that divorce is the next step, the professionals at Best Legal Choices can help to minimize the stress for you and for your children.

During a collaborative divorce, you’ll work with a group of professionals including attorneys, financial neutrals and communication specialists. Contact us today to explore your options.