How to survive divorce in your 30s
Written by Michelle Ogborne

How to survive divorce in your 30s

Divorce is difficult any time; but in your 30s, it can feel like all your friends’ lives are getting started and yours is ending. Beyond the feeling that you’ve failed at something before it ever had a chance to succeed, there are often age-specific issues to divorcing in your 30s. For many people, this is the decade of career aspirations, young children, high debt, and constant busyness. Add in a rocky relationship, and you may begin to wonder how to survive divorce on top of everything else.

Why Divorcing in Your 30s Can Cause Additional Issues

There are a few reasons divorcing in your 30s can cause some extra pain. For example, many 30-somethings have young children. That means on top of everything else you’ll address during your divorce; you’ll need to consider:

  • Division of holidays
  • How to co-parent
  • How to navigate new relationships
  • Legal decision-making authority
  • Parenting time
  • Your children’s best interests

The 30s tend to be a time of high debt. You may still be paying off student loans or credit card debt from your younger years. Perhaps you and your spouse just bought a house or started a business. You may still owe money on your cars. This complex financial picture will need to be addressed and divided appropriately. After all, it’s not just assets that are split during a divorce.

Your 30s also tend to be a busy season of life. Whether you’re chasing around young kids, driving older kids to all of their activities or you’re building your career at work – or a combination of all three – adding on divorce is one more time commitment you can’t ignore. If you want to know how to survive divorce, you’ll need to prepare for the time and energy it will take. Working with a group of collaborative divorce professionals can help you and your spouse work through communication, financial and legal issues.

Tips on How to Survive Divorce

If you find yourself asking, how do you survive divorce in your 30s? Here are a few tips:

  • Ask for help. Count on your friends and family, but also professionals. Make time to see a counselor and hire a good attorney. Look at ways to reduce your load, so you don’t crack under pressure. In your 30s, you may have the feeling you should “do it all.” It’s okay to grieve and get assistance to make it through the tough times.
  • Find support. Whether you’re looking for guidance or want a night full of laughter, friends and family can lift your spirits.
  • Look toward the future. It’s easy to dwell on what’s wrong with your life, but sometimes you need a fresh outlook on the future. It’s true that it will look different than you imagined. Focus on a promising and fulfilling future.
  • Practice self-care. Confidence and self-esteem can suffer during a divorce. To survive it, you have to be kind to yourself. Take time for things that make you feel good. Not only is it better for you, but it can bring peace to your children when they see you happy.
  • Consider collaboration. It’s hard to cooperate and compromise when you’re hurting. A collaborative divorce can ease the transition from marriage to divorce in a more neutral setting. If you and your partner can see beyond the intense emotions, you can work together to benefit everyone, including your kids.
  • Rely on financial professionals. Sometimes it’s hard to see the big picture. An experienced neutral financial professional can work with you and your spouse to divide assets and debt in a mutually agreeable manner. They can also help you create a budget for the future based on your divorce agreements.

Collaborating to Plan for a Brighter Future

I can be tough to survive a divorce in your 30s. Be proactive in how you approach it. Contact the professionals at Best Legal Choices to learn more about collaborative divorce.