How to Cope with Divorce When It’s Unwanted

It can be tough to cope with the reality of a divorce that you didn’t want. Many people facing an unwanted divorce find themselves afraid, despondent, and depressed.

Here you will learn 6 ways to cope with an unwanted divorce so you can acknowledge your emotions and move on with your life.

1. Learn to Accept Divorce

Learning to accept a divorce as your reality is one of the most critical steps in beginning to recover from it. It’s easy to get stuck in the past and wonder what could have been, but doing that won’t change your situation. Accepting the divorce and focusing on your future will help you let go of negative emotions like regret, resentment, and blame. Consider how your life will be different moving forward and make a conscious effort to look for silver linings.

2. Allow Yourself to Grieve

You must grieve to move on. According to TheGoodMenProject, “At its core, grief is a process of transformation. It’s about accepting the full depth and breadth of all that comes with getting divorced. As you come to terms with what’s happened, you can work through the pain to make space for healing. This sets the stage for you to be able to create a new life for yourself.” There isn’t a specific amount of time it takes to heal after your divorce, as grief is different for everyone. Don’t ignore your thoughts and feelings. Instead, take time to identify, acknowledge, and process them.

3. Rediscover Yourself

What were your favorite activities or hobbies before you got married? Did you give any of those activities up somewhere along the way? Examining those interests once again can be vital for rediscovering yourself and what’s important to you.  This type of self-reflection can help you to understand what you gained from the relationship that’s ending as well as what you need from a new relationship in the future. Taking the time to understand who you are and what you want can help you define the qualities you do want in a long-term partner.

4. Lean on Your Friends

Reach out to your current friends, even if you haven’t talked to them for a while. Give yourself opportunities to get out and make some new friends. Ask someone out to a movie or lunch. Take a class to learn something you’ve always wanted to know. No one should feel like they have to go through their unwanted divorce alone.

5. Consider Counseling or a Support Group

Counseling can be a great tool to help you cope and move forward. Therapy can help you learn new skills and coping tips to get you through the post-divorce period. It can also help you manage grief and make a healthier adjustment to being single.

Sometimes people are too scared to talk to their friends and family members about divorce for fear of what they might think, or that they won’t understand. If this describes you, consider joining a support group with other people who are going through a similar situation. There you might be able to find people who understand, can point you in the right direction and would be happy to give you a shoulder to lean on.

6. Don’t Beat Yourself Up

People just getting out of a relationship tend to judge themselves or regret things they did during the relationship. Stop doing this! Everyone makes mistakes. Self-criticism will only prolong the grief process. Use your divorce as a stepping-stone to figure out what you are looking for in yourself and in your next relationship. Instead of beating yourself up, try being kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to transition through the grief process. There is no time limit for grieving, so no matter how long it takes to get through it, don’t judge yourself.

Sources:

1. Meyer, Cathy. “9 Tips on How to Heal After an Unwanted Divorce.” Mydomaine, MyDomaine, 15 May 2019, https://www.mydomaine.com/things-you-need-to-know-about-healing-from-an-unwanted-divorce-1103043.
2. Suzy, Suzy Brown, and Suzy. “Surviving An Unwanted Divorce.” Midlife Divorce Recovery, 31 July 2019, https://www.midlifedivorcerecovery.com/unwanted-divorce/.
3. Leamon, Shawn. “8 Tips For Healing And Rebuilding After An Unwanted Divorce (Recommended): Divorce and Your Money: Avoid Costly Divorce Mistakes.” Divorce and Your Money | Avoid Costly Divorce Mistakes., 26 June 2018, https://divorceandyourmoney.com/blogs/surviving-unwanted-divorce/.

See Also:

• 5 Ways to Accept Your Marriage is Over & Cope with the Change
• Should I Get a Divorce? 8 Warning Signs It May Be Time
• What you need to know about collaborative divorce in Arizona

Collaborative Divorce is a Peaceful Divorce Option

Divorce litigation can be scary and emotionally draining for you, your spouse, and your children. But it doesn’t have to be that way with collaborative divorce. The collaborative process can result in a less expensive, more efficient, and less harmful outcome for everyone involved. One of the legal, financial, and communication professionals at Best Legal Choices can help you navigate this difficult time in your life.