How to communicate to make your marital property division less painful
Written by Jennifer Moshier

How to communicate to make your marital property division less painful

Is there any way to make the discussion about marital property division less painful? When couples get married, they often buy homes, cars, furniture and more together. Marital property division can feel like disassembling your life piece by piece. Often, you have to let go of things you love. This can create feelings of resentment and fear. The only way you are going to get through it is by communicating and being willing to compromise.

Effective Communication During Marital Property Division

Many legal professionals say, don’t expect to get everything you want. Keeping that in mind during your collaborative divorce discussions can help your property division go quicker and easier. Try to focus on a few things that are really important to you and look for places you can let go.

During your marital property division, you and your spouse will be working from a list of assets, properties and liabilities. When it’s time to divide these items, here are some communication guidelines that can help the process to run more smoothly:

  • Set priorities. What are the biggest items that need to be decided? Do you have children that will be affected by the outcome? A couch isn’t going to be as financially important as retirement accounts. Work to move through the “big things” as your priority and then move onto the rest.
  • Be clear in your reasoning. When conveying your request, you need to understand it yourself. For example, if you want the house, why? Is it because you want your kids to maintain some continuity during an already difficult situation? Or is it because you want to punish your spouse for cheating? Look closely at your motives, then make a decision that supports the whole picture. During a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse can work with a group of professionals to help you make decisions to meet the needs of your family. Maybe both of you need a fresh start; you can sell the house and split the proceeds so you can each find homes of your own.
  • Be willing to concede. If you easily let go of some things, it can inspire your partner to concede as well. A little cooperation can go a long way.
  • Talk it through with the help of professionals. Both you and your spouse may feel exceptionally emotional during marital property division. During a collaborative divorce, you can work with a communication coach to help guide you through complicated conversations to avoid a high-stress courtroom divorce. Improving communication during a divorce can lead to easier conversations after your divorce is final.
  • Practice self-care. If you are rested and calm, chances are the whole process may feel easier. Both you and your spouse should find ways to center yourselves before the big conversations. Ask to take a break if you need one. Sometimes a walk around the block or a snack can help reframe your mindset. Therapy can also be a stabilizer.

Enlist Professional Support

Collaborative divorce professionals have the experience and skills to see the whole picture. They will try to help you and your spouse work toward a mutually agreeable outcome. If you’re ready to learn more about communication during the division of marital property, contact the professionals at Best Legal Choices today.