How to avoid a high conflict divorce
Written by Craig Cherney

How to avoid a high conflict divorce

There are disagreements in every marriage, but the reason for many divorces is unrelenting arguing. By the end of a marriage, most couples want to part ways as quickly and painlessly as possible. Unfortunately, traditional courtroom divorces often turn into a high-conflict divorce battlefield.

Divorce Do’s and Don’ts

Although you may want to finalize your divorce as quickly as possible, don’t rush to file for divorce in Arizona. Here are several considerations to help you avoid a high conflict divorce:

  • Do consider therapy or counseling. Talking to a third-party during your divorce can relieve some of the stress and burden you feel. Consider therapy for your children as well. They’re probably experiencing a lot of new feelings and are unsure of what the future holds. This can be helpful for your family before, during and after your divorce.
  • Do get your finances in order. Organize information about tax filings, assets and debts as soon as possible. Consider seeking professional financial guidance to help you manage money problems today and avoid pitfalls later.
  • Do consider keeping it out of court. If you and your spouse can communicate and are willing to brainstorm solutions to find mutually agreeable outcomes, a collaborative divorce may be a good option for you.
  • Do take the high road and encourage your partner to do the same. Anger-driven divorce negotiations rarely seldom solve problems and often create new difficulties for everyone.
  • Do think of the kids. It’s almost never a good idea to stay married “for the kids’ sake,” but their well-being is paramount as you go through your divorce. Collaborative divorce allows you to the opportunity to work with a communication specialist and a child specialist and reinforces your love for your children in ways they appreciate.
  • Don’t create timelines. Strict timelines add more pressure to an already stressful situation. If one of you needs more time to accept the reality that the marriage is ending, remember that divorce is a life-changing step. Allow for the necessary time to make the divorce work.
  • Don’t play the blame game. There are no winners in a divorce. The goal of a collaborative divorce is to communicate to reach a mutually agreeable outcome. Remember what you respect about your spouse. Envision you and your ex-partner living happier lives apart, and then make that happen.

Effective Communication Can Improve a High Conflict Divorce

Ending a marriage with respect is possible. What you want for your spouse is really no different than what you want for yourself, is it? The first way to avoid a high conflict divorce is to stop adding fuel to the fire. There are many things you can’t control, but you can manage your words and reactions.

Communication is key. You’ll hear that from friends and family, but how exactly do you learn effective communication? Here’s your first tip: if you’ve both been reacting (rather than responding) to each other’s words, stop now. Don’t try to communicate when you’re feeling anger, hurt or any one of the many emotions involved in a high conflict divorce.

Seek Professional Guidance

A divorce is the beginning of what can be a new life – hopefully a better life – for you both. During a collaborative divorce, you’ll be paired with a communication specialist who has experience working with families in transition. They’ll be able to help you and your spouse work through communication issues. These skills will benefit you during your divorce and well after it ends.

If you have children, you and your spouse will remain connected after your divorce is final. Your relationship changes, but family is forever. You need to discover communications skills that will benefit you, your ex and your children.

Collaborative negotiation encourages creative resolution of problems with the goals and well being of each party in mind. In particular, matters concerning children can be handled with careful and loving consideration, says Austin, TX Divorce Lawyer, Lori Watson.

Advantages of Collaborative Divorce

The benefits of a collaborative divorce rather than a high conflict courtroom divorce are numerous. In addition to avoiding public courtroom drama and possibly saving time and money, the outcome of your private divorce process is determined by you and your spouse. Forward-thinking can flip a high conflict divorce from a stall-out to laying the foundation for two improved lives.

Now, There’s a Better Way to Divorce

A high conflict divorce isn’t a good way to end a marriage and begin a new life. It can leave you feeling stressed out, bitter and exhausted. Today, you have a better option. Contact Best Legal Choices for information about collaborative divorce in Arizona.