Ending a bad relationship
Written by Kristine Reich

Ending a hurtful relationship

You’re not an ignorant person. You don’t enjoy emotional anguish. Yet, you remain in a toxic relationship and every day that it continues you are suffering. Why can’t you take the steps toward ending a hurtful relationship? Maybe you think…

  • It’s going to get better. But if you and your partner are both miserable and nothing really changes, that’s a good clue it’s not going to get better. Ever.
  • Staying together is better for the family. But your family cares about you, and they know you’re hurting, physically, mentally, or emotionally. No one who loves you wants to see you suffering.
  • You don’t want to be alone. But if any relationship is better than no relationship, why do you feel so bad all the time?
  • You’re afraid of what you don’t know. You’re in a bad situation, but at least it’s familiar. It’s difficult to accept that moving on to the unknown is scary.
  • Your relationship is your history. Granted, much of the history is unhealthy, but the good times were very, very good, right?

When both of you are caring people, ending a broken relationship is even more difficult. If you have children, it’s important to focus on preserving the family unit while changing your living arrangements.

Signs When Ending a Hurtful Relationship is a Good Idea

Psychology Today says an unhealthy relationship will display more than one or two “warning bells.” Some signs that indicate you are in a bad relationship include:

  • Arguments sometimes escalate to threats: “If you don’t do this, I’ll…”
  • If you had to rate your partner for caring, dependability, and trustworthiness, you’d rate them lower than a 5.
  • There’s a notable lack of affection.
  • There’s no compromise in your relationship.
  • When you disagree, it never seems to be resolved fairly.
  • You blame each other for life being less than it ought to be.
  • You call each other “crazy” in arguments. That’s the ultimate dismissal. It indicates an unwillingness to respect each other.
  • You can’t confide in your partner because they might “use it against you” later.
  • You can’t see any way you’ve positively influenced each other in the last few years. You can identify ways you have negatively influenced each other: excessive drinking, smoking, laziness.
  • You criticize and blame each other.
  • You don’t feel relationship security.
  • You feel less confident and less positive about yourself than you did when the relationship began.
  • You feel lonely when you’re together.
  • You lie or make excuses for your partner’s behavior.
  • You look to others for emotional support, not your partner.
  • You wish you were in a relationship with someone else.
  • You’re doing things you are ashamed of, like fighting in front of the kids.
  • Your partner is secretive and has no explanations for arriving home late.
  • Your partner isn’t interested in your successes at work.
  • Your partner refuses to talk about important relationship topics.
  • Your partner thinks you’re lucky to have them.

Get Help to Get Out of a Hurtful Relationship

Getting out of a hurtful relationship is hard, but you can make it easier. Once you’ve decided you truly want to end your relationship, seek support. The professionals at Best Legal Choices can offer information and services related to:

If ending a hurtful relationship is your next step, we can help you create healthy future. With guidance from our professionals, you can put your life on the right track. Contact Best Legal Choices to learn more.