You’ve finally made the decision to divorce. After ending a bad marriage, it may be very tempting to get back in the dating scene. You may be looking to reconnect, enjoy the attention from someone who’s interested in you, or maybe you just want to get out of the house. There are many reasons to wait until your divorce is final, including family, emotional, and strategic. Although the Arizona court isn’t interested in marital misconduct, most Arizona divorce professionals will advise you to avoid dating during divorce.
Dating During Divorce
Divorce is stress-filled. You’re feeling lonely and you’re grieving the relationship that is ending. Then you meet another person who offers an escape from the reality of divorce. Quite simply, there are too many reasons to avoid dating during divorce. Dating can add complications to an already-complex lifestyle change.
Why Dating During Divorce is Problematic
Dating is not a signal you’re ready to “move on” with your life. Dating during a divorce can blur your focus on the future. Collaborative divorce, for example, is all about your family, especially your children’s future. Introducing a romantic interest into the mix too soon can have harmful impacts:
- If you’re dating during a divorce, your ex-partner can develop an attitude about money. “Your girlfriend’s driving your car more than you. Let her make the car payments!” Spousal support in one lump payment can fly out the window when one of you is dating during divorce. Your ex-partner could choose monthly support payments that can end if you move in with someone else.
- Dating during a divorce can wreck your parenting plans for the future. Your partner may feel threatened by the newcomer and may be unwilling to give you time with the kids. Whatever progress you’ve made creating a family-friendly divorce can backslide. Previously you were a two-parent family. The threat of a third person making parenting decisions can be a deal-breaker.
- Speaking of the kids, dating during divorce seldom helps your children cope with this lifestyle change. You’ll want to make time for this new relationship, right? If you were already stretched for time, between work and marital/financial/legal counseling, you’ll have less time for your children. And they notice everything. They’re not going to forget when they needed you, you needed someone else.
There is No Need to Rush
New love is so exciting! After a broken relationship, someone is celebrating all the wonderful things about you! You’re discovering new romance and passion you thought was history. It’s such a relief to take a break from the pain, grief, sadness, and fear. Here’s the reality: Healing wounds and growing as an independent person takes work. Dating during divorce is a handy delay tactic. Instead, you should examine why you’re so eager to be a couple – again – before your divorce is final.
Collaborative Divorce and Communications
The collaborative divorce process includes attorney’s for each of your and can involve a communications coach. Your communications professional can help you and your partner work toward a respectful, future-oriented divorce. This often speeds up the entire process so you can move on with your new life more quickly! There’s plenty of time to date after the divorce is final.