How to Get the Courage to Divorce Your Spouse
Written by Michelle Ogborne

How to Get the Courage to Divorce Your Spouse

Even though you’ve decided that you want to divorce your spouse, it can still be tough to muster up the courage to tell your husband or wife. As scary as the idea of divorce can be, being courageous enough to take the first step can be a move towards a healthier future.

Before you serve your soon to be ex-spouse with divorce papers (which might signal the start of a long legal battle), why not try and see if collaborative divorce might be a better option? Collaborative divorce is one of the best legal options when you are looking for a peaceful divorce, since it can be less costly, less time-consuming and less stressful than traditional divorce litigation.

What is “Courage to Divorce”?

The definition of courage is “the ability to do something that frightens one” or “having strength in the face of pain or grief

Why if I Can’t Find the Courage to Divorce?

Some common reasons people fear divorce include:

  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear of losing time with children
  • Fear of starting over
  • Concern about financial problems
  • Worry about what the kids will think
  • Social and religious pressures

Getting the Courage to Divorce

Ask for Professional Advice

Whether you are the spouse wanting to initiate the divorce or whether you have been told by your spouse that they are ready to end the marriage, you may gain confidence after talking with an appropriate professional. This may include a therapist, a divorce coach or a family law attorney. Sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know. By speaking with someone who is experienced in guiding people through these decisions, you may find the courage to take the next step.

Take Baby Steps

If you are unhappy with your current situation but the idea of divorce really scares you, you might consider speaking with your spouse about a trial separation. Living apart for some period of time could be a way to test the waters without jumping all the way in.

Make a List

Take the time to consider all the reasons you might want to end your marriage as well as all the reasons you might want to stay. Why are you in your current relationship? What is making you think about leaving? Figuring out the answers to those questions could help you find the courage you need to divorce.

Let Go of What Others Think

Are you scared of what your friends and family will think about your decision to divorce? Are you worried about expectations from your religious community to stay married? You will never be able to control how others feel or think. Remember, this decision is about you and your own life.

Talk to Other Divorced People

Talk to other people who have already experienced what you are going through. They may have had the exact same fears you did before making their decision. Hearing their stories may provide the encouragement and inspiration you need to make your decision.

Maximize the Positives

Instead of focusing on negative aspects of a divorce, try focusing on what the positive outcomes might be. What would it be like to live according to your own terms? Will your children be happier that their parents aren’t angry or fighting? As hard as it might seem, you can choose to focus on the positives.


  1. “The Courage Necessary to Pursue a Divorce.” Men’s Divorce, 23 May 2019,
  2. “How to Find Strength to Get Out of a Bad Relationship.” She Blossoms, 11 Jan. 2016,
  3. Meyer, Cathy. “3 Ways to Gain Strength, Courage and Confidence During Divorce.” Mydomaine, MyDomaine, 14 May 2019,

See Also:

Collaborative Divorce Is a Peaceful Divorce Option

Divorce litigation can be scary and emotionally draining for you, your spouse, and your children. But it doesn’t have to be that way with collaborative divorce. The collaborative process can result in a less expensive, more efficient, and less harmful outcome for everyone involved. The legalfinancial, and communication professionals at Best Legal Choices can help you navigate this difficult time in your life.


The collaborative divorce process is designed to help people who are willing to work together to make an agreement that benefits the family. Resources that help parents communicate effectively during this process can help them model appropriate behavior for their kids. With love and support, children can more effectively deal with their parents’ divorce. Contact a professional at Best Legal Choices if you’re ready to take the first step toward starting your new life.