After a shaky ending to your marriage, you may feel ready for a long break from your ex-spouse. When kids are involved, that usually isn’t an option. Just because your marriage is over, it doesn’t mean you can’t remain friendly. No matter what the state of your relationship looks like today, it is possible to divorce as friends, or at least as collaborative partners.
The type of divorce you choose can influence the outcome and impact your future. It’s important to pick a process that suits your needs and helps you reach your future goals.
By choosing the collaborative divorce process, you can put an end to the conflict you’ve grown accustomed to. If you and your spouse are willing to work together, a communication specialist can help you refine the way you interact with each other. Through this process, you’ll learn to effectively communicate and work together in a respectful, thoughtful manner.
Communication is Key
Let’s face it – open and honest communication is an important factor for an amicable divorce. This doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything. Before you respond to your spouse’s emails, take a moment and think about how you would answer if you were talking to a close friend or business associate. It’s important to focus on your goal to with dignity and respect during each interaction, regardless of the reasons for dissolving your marriage.
A typical litigious divorce often creates tension between spouses where they fight each other to “win.” On the other hand, a collaborative divorce focuses on communication to allow both spouses to brainstorm solutions and find a mutually agreeable outcome. After all, when both parties put family first, instead of focusing only on their own needs, things suddenly become a lot less tense.
By removing a lot of the conflict from your divorce and learning to communicate effectively with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, both of you have a better chance of achieving a healthy separation and cultivating an amicable relationship post-divorce.
Rely on the Professionals
A collaborative divorce works to create a solution that considers the interests of everyone – you, your spouse and your family. To achieve this, you may need to rely on a variety of resources and professionals, including:
- Attorneys, trained in collaborative divorce
- Communication specialists
- Neutral financial professionals
- Child specialists
- Personal counselors or therapists
The professionals at Best Legal Choices focus on collaborative divorce. Working with them gives you access to attorneys, communication specialists and financial neutrals. These professionals have the experience and training to help you make the transition from arguing spouses to friendly exes. When both spouses are willing, these professionals can help you learn to effectively communicate during your divorce and after.
Keep a Positive Perspective
While divorce rarely feels like a positive experience, a collaborative process can result in a positive future. Rather than blaming your spouse for past mistakes, focus on how they brought you happiness. Even though the end of your marriage may have been rocky, focusing on the positive details from your relationship is beneficial for your mental health. This is even more important if you have children. Shifting your perspective toward positivity and problem-solving is essential if you want to divorce as allies.
Instead of viewing your partnership as a mistake, consider it a learning experience. Even if you aren’t ready to be friends with your ex, being courteous acquaintances is better than being enemies.
Explore Your Options with the Professionals at Best Legal Choices
The collaborative process promotes effective communication which is extremely helpful if you want to divorce as friends. Contact a Best Legal Choices professional today to learn more about collaborative divorce.
Heidi has been a family counselor for 16 years and has worked primarily with separating/divorcing and high conflict families for the past 4 years. Heidi’s goal is to help families reduce the need for future litigation, build resilience and healing, and help families focus on the best interests of the children and parents alike.