6 common causes of marital problems
Written by Judy Morse

11 Common Causes of Marital Problems

Marital problems are common and can happen for a variety of reasons. In some cases, the issue might end up as the reason for a divorce. In other cases, the problems are resolved if both spouses are willing to make an effort to address them. Here are some of the most common marital problems between spouses.

1. Money Problems

Money problems are a common cause of marital problems. A difference in opinion about saving and spending habits can create tension.  Problems can also arise due to a drastic difference in income between spouses. When one person makes more money than the other, they may start to feel resentful about the hours they put in at work. They may also start to think they have more “right” to the money and can spend it however they want.

If you’re experiencing money problems, it may be a good idea to consult with a financial advisor to help you agree on how to spend and save.

2. Lack of Intimacy

Intimacy in marriage is important and also one of the most common causes of marital problems. A lack of intimacy isn’t a reason to cheat. However, lack of sex can result in a loss of connection. It can also make the other person feel unwanted or unloved. If you are no longer interested in being intimate, consider talking to your doctor or seeking out a therapist who specializes in these issues.

3. Splitting Up Chores

The distribution of household chores requires careful consideration. If either spouse feels that the work load is unbalanced, it can lead to marital problems.  Sometimes, one spouse doesn’t think they need to help at home since they feel they work long hours at their job. Some spouses believe a stay-at-home parent should be responsible for everything at home, around the clock. It is unlikely that the person at home is “lounging around” all day. As long as everyone is working hard all day, a shared distribution of work during your time together is reasonable.

Whether you work outside the home, at a home office, or take care of the kids, these are all considered jobs. It takes a true partnership to stay on top of everything, plus care for your home and each other.

4. Change in Appearance

As we grow older, we change. Things like gaining (or losing) weight, age, stress, and genetics all affect how we age. While you might want your spouse to look and act the same forever, this isn’t going to happen. Holding someone to this unrealistic expectation sets up the marriage for arguments and disappointment.

5. Fertility Struggles

Many couples assume when they’re ready to have children, it will be an easy process. Unfortunately, some experience challenges when they try to start a family – health issues, genetics, changes in priorities, and more. Sometimes a baby doesn’t come when or how you want.

Even though your plans for children may have been different, there are options to discuss with your spouse. Adoption or in vitro fertilization may be possible. Sometimes children aren’t an option, no matter how much you wish for them.

6. Poor Communication

Lack of communication can be one of the toughest marital problems to work through. Learning to effectively communicate with each other takes effort and understanding.

If communication is a frequent marital problem you’re facing, you may want to find someone unbiased such as a therapist to help you improve your communication.  In addition to them helping you understand each other better, they can give you exercises to make communication less frustrating for both of you. Taking the time to address this issue will make all other areas of marriage easier to navigate.

7. Infidelity

It’s not uncommon for a marital relationship to be tested if a spouse has been unfaithful. Even internet relationships, which can rise to the level of “emotional affairs,” have been known to cause marital issues.

8. Inconsistent Religious Beliefs

There will always be different perspectives within your marriage, but differences in core beliefs and values may become too big to ignore. One spouse may get frustrated with always having to do religious activities separately, especially if you both attend different places of worship.

9. Experiencing Trauma

No two people experience trauma in the same way. One spouse might turn away, whereas the other turn to their partner for comfort. If one of you doesn’t know what the other needs, or isn’t prepared to give it to them, you may notice a rift develop.

10. Trust

Some spouses trust each other until they are given a reason not to. For others, trust must be earned. Whether you are a spouse who feels you have a reason not to trust the other, or whether you are a spouse who feels that your partner’s trust is being unjustly withheld, the lack of trust can present an impediment to a healthy marital relationship.

11. Too Predictable

Although some people are comforted by their day-in/day-out routine, other people may simply get bored if their relationship has become too predictable. Some couples do the exact same things year after year and without doing anything spontaneous. Although this may not be a problem if both spouses prefer the tried-and-true, boredom may become a problem in relationships that lack spontaneous activity.


  1. “8 Common Problems in Married Life.” Best Marriage Advice – Get Marriage Tips from Experts, 29 Mar. 2019, marriage.com/advice/relationship/8-common-problems-in-married-life/.
  2. Borresen, Kelsey, and Kelsey Borresen. “The Most Common Problems That Arise After 10 Years Of Marriage.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 2 Jan. 2019, huffpost.com/entry/marriage-problems-solutions-10-years_n_5c2a4a80e4b08aaf7a92bcfb.

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If you, or someone you know, is considering ending the marriage because of marital problems, contact the professionals at Best Legal Choices to discuss your options, including a collaborative divorce which focuses on reducing stress and helping both of you negotiate your divorce out of court.

Collaborative Divorce Is a Peaceful Divorce Option

Divorce litigation can be scary and emotionally draining for you, your spouse, and your children. But it doesn’t have to be that way with collaborative divorce. The collaborative process can result in a less expensive, more efficient, and less harmful outcome for everyone involved. The legalfinancial, and communication professionals at Best Legal Choices can help you navigate this difficult time in your life.


The collaborative divorce process is designed to help people who are willing to work together to make an agreement that benefits the family. Resources that help parents communicate effectively during this process can help them model appropriate behavior for their kids. With love and support, children can more effectively deal with their parents’ divorce. Contact a professional at Best Legal Choices if you’re ready to take the first step toward starting your new life.