Being aware of the signs that your marriage is in trouble is the first step to recovering it. A problem in your marriage doesn’t hit you like a thunderbolt. It’s more like an outgoing tide; sometimes, you just drift away without noticing.
There’s no specific time that marks the end of the honeymoon period. Eventually, both of you get comfortable and make a little less of an effort. Then, the kids join your family and you get busy. You pass each other and laughingly wave on the road from swim practice to football games. The garage door opener is the most frequently used appliance in the house.
Not Enough Time
When couples don’t prioritize their marriage because “everything is fine” and there’s “not enough time,” it’s a red flag. Everything may be fine now; but later, you may begin to notice you sacrificed more than you realized. When your marriage is in trouble, the kids quickly forget the time you sacrificed chauffeuring them; but, they won’t forget your divorce.
Don’t Ignore the Warning Signs
Couples often drift apart when they don’t make time for each other. Sometimes, their friends even offer hints: “What are you going to do when the kids are gone?”
A marriage in trouble is salvageable. If your marriage is built on a solid foundation, you can get back on track. If not, divorce may be the solution. Even if you think your marriage is in good shape, pay attention to these five warning signs.
Five Red Flags
- Communicating effectively seldom occurs. If it seems that most of your discussions and disagreements are non-productive, your marriage is in trouble. Even worse, if your relationship has deteriorated to disrespect, it’s time to seek counseling. Unfortunately, many couples don’t learn about positive communication until their collaborative divorce.
- There’s no intimacy. Every marriage goes through stressful times. If you’ve lost intimacy – touching, snuggling, holding hands – consider that a great concern.
- You argue about money. Most arguments in marriage are about finances. If your conversations often spiral into fights about money, that’s a red flag. If you discover your partner has been less than forthcoming about spending, that’s yet another warning sign. Hiding your spending is a red flag, too.
- You never fight. If you’ve ever been jealous of the couple that never disagrees, look closer. If there’s no arguing, perhaps there’s no communicating at all. There may also be a lack of sharing or connecting. A couple that shuts down because arguing is non-productive has given up on the relationship.
- You never play. If you and your partner don’t have a shared interest or hobby, you’re taking this grown-up thing too seriously. Something as tame as bird-watching or as extreme as skydiving can take you away from the daily grind and help you reconnect. The time spent together is priceless. You’ll feel refreshed when you come back down to earth.
Arizona’s Best Legal Choices
Sometimes even your best effort can’t save a failing marriage. Maybe it’s time for both of you to go in different directions. At Best Legal Choices, our professionals understand that every divorce is unique.
We also believe that families don’t end with divorce. Marriages end, where we live and how we live may change. Families are forever. Contact Best Legal Choices to learn about the professional legal, financial, and communication coaching options available as part of a collaborative divorce.