A good divorce is better than a bad marriage for kids.
–Huffington Post

Divorce can seem like a huge, dramatic event in a child’s life. Children of every age experience an adjustment period following their parents’ divorce. It may take a few months, but when their fears are calmed, they make the transition. Later in life, the effects of divorce on kids are usually minimal.

The manner in which the parents handle the divorce makes all the difference. Research suggests well-functioning parents who manage their divorce with limited conflict are providing the best damage control. In fact, there are some unexpected – and even positive – effects of divorce on kids.

Surprising Effects of Divorce on Kids

Thanks to divorce, time with the kids takes on new importance. Parents that dreaded serving as chauffeurs and bench warmers during football practices may compete for the jobs.

The dad who never made it home before dinner is now eager to spend mealtimes with the kids. The mom who was too tired on weekends now has new energy and interest in the kids’ activities. When parents prioritize quality time with their children, the effects of divorce on kids can be positive.

1. Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Staying in a miserable relationship, yet encouraging your children to be the best they can be is confusing. Your divorce can reinforce strong values and good ethics. Lesson learned? Don’t settle for any less happiness than you deserve.

2. Empathy for Others

Perhaps not at first, but eventually your kids will understand. You both made mistakes, as husband and wife and even as parents. The ability to understand and share others’ feelings is a valuable life resource. Lesson learned? Nobody is perfect.

3. Parents Get a “Second Chance” at Relationship-Building

Another positive effect of divorce on kids is more one-on-one time with each parent. Your time without the kids can be a chance to catch up on work and chores. They will then see themselves as a priority, not a problem. Lesson learned? Your parents are individuals who value you.

4. Two Happy Homes Are Better

Kids need structure and a positive environment. Frequent arguments and a tense atmosphere isn’t anyone’s idea of a happy home. No matter how well you try to hide it, kids notice everything. The children may begin acting out. The negative effects of divorce on kids are lessened when they see both parents, confident and happier, in separate homes. Lesson learned? Change can be for the best.

5. “We’re in This Together”

Argumentative, competitive siblings now have something in common. One of the unexpected effects of divorce on kids is how it strengthens the bond between siblings, especially during the transition. Lesson learned? Brothers and sisters stick together.

Arizona’s Collaborative Divorce

When parents choose to minimize conflict during their divorce decisions, there can be surprisingly good outcomes. The principles of the collaborative divorce process are designed to strengthen, not weaken, your family. Living arrangements and lifestyles may change. You’ll always have and always be a family.

Divorcing with kids can be complicated. Asking for professional guidance is another way to develop your strengths as a “new and improved” family. The professionals at Best Legal Choices understand what’s important. Contact us to learn what you need to know about a divorce with kids.