4 tips to navigating the stages of divorce
Written by Jennifer Moshier

4 tips to navigating the stages of divorce

Divorce can be overwhelming. Marriage is a complicated relationship and navigating the legal process at the end of this relationship can be exhausting. When you are facing divorce, you will need to work through the stages of divorce. Breaking it into steps can help, because most people who are facing divorce encounter first, anger or resignation. No two members of any couple move through divorce at the same pace. Once people move beyond anger, many of them are still eligible for collaborative process. It is important to be educated about collaborative process. People can begin collaborative process when they realize litigation may be only benefiting the lawyers.

Fortunately, there are trained professionals available to assist you through the various stages of divorce. Working with the professionals at Best Legal Choices gives you access to many different resources. Other than lawyers, as your case may require, communication specialists, a child specialist and financial neutral can assist you in your case. Each of these people can help you transition from making the decision to divorce to moving forward with your life.

1. Prepare to Brainstorm Solutions

Your divorce won’t be an easy escape from your marital problems. If you and your spouse struggled with money during your marriage, you’ll need to address finances during your divorce. With the help of your team of professionals, you can prepare to brainstorm solutions and keep the focus on an agreeable outcome to get there as quickly as possible.

With this in mind, the first stage of divorce requires an open mind. Instead of making demands, come up with ideas. There is more than one possible solution to every challenge you will face, so consider that “your” idea may not be the only or even the best idea. A collaborative divorce process can make this less difficult. You and your spouse will work together, listen to each other’s ideas about the problems you each identify and find solutions that can help you move forward.

2. Set Priorities

One of the most critical stages of divorce comes when you set your priorities. Divorce seldom ends up leaving everyone with exactly what they want. You need to figure out what is important to each of you. This allows you to set priorities and move from brainstorming solutions to agreeing on outcomes.

In a traditional divorce, spouses privately set their priorities. This can lead to lengthy arguments and drawn out court appearances. Alternatively, a collaborative divorce gives you a process to develop shared priorities that also include your individual goals. Instead of fighting for everything, it allows you to find common ground and reach a mutually agreeable outcome.

3. Forget the Advice of Friends and Family

When you first decide to divorce, you should not face it alone. Your friends and family can serve as an emotional lifeline in the early stages of divorce. Their love and support can help you through difficult times.

Unfortunately, friends and family can sometimes cross the line as they offer excessive advice. A friend who went through a turbulent divorce may give you tips on how to get back at your spouse. A non-confrontational family member may tell you to concede to everything and get through the process as quickly as possible. Navigating the range of advice you’ll receive can be confusing. Remember, they don’t live with your decisions – you have to live with your decisions.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is forget their advice. During the later stages of divorce, you should focus on the advice of professionals. In addition to being unbiased and familiar with your unique situation, your group of professionals has experience and knowledge that friends and family simply do not.

4. Embrace Your New Life

If you are like many people, you may have come to define yourself in terms of your marriage. You are part of a couple, someone else’s spouse. This is natural; however, when you decide to divorce, that part of your self-definition disappears. Take time to rediscover who you are individually.

Moving forward can be one of the most difficult stages of divorce because it leaves you so vulnerable. Keep in mind, your possibilities extend as far as your imagination and willingness to grow. Instead of losing who you are, you have a chance to rediscover yourself. You can find happiness by embracing your new life. Your family may find a “new normal” that helps your children more than you ever imagined.

To discuss the stages of divorce and take your next step, contact a professional at Best Legal Choices.